Monday, December 20, 2010

Gaga Rides In Cars With Boys

Gaga rides in cars with boys. (L to R: Ian, Gaga, Cassidy)

The thing I absolutely love about Gaga’s performances is they’re juicy little narratives that always tell a sexy story.

“Boys, Boys, Boys” is the performance with the sexiest action. Lady Gaga is joined by six male dancers who perform burlesque. They’re her “gay boys”, two black boys, a black-white combo, two white boys and a Latino boy. Gaga calls them her gay boys, but one is straight.

The cast of gay boys includes Asiel Hardison (black boy), Ian McKenzie (black boy), Mike Silas (black-white combo), Cassidy Noblett (white boy), Graham Breitenstein (white boy) and Victor Rojas (Latino boy). Asiel is tall, slender and dark-skinned while Ian is more compact, but with the same dark skin. Mike is olive-skinned and slender, but compact with lots of tattoos. Cassidy is strapping and muscular with dark hair and fair skin. Graham is simply tall and skinny and pale, while Victor is short and tan with a Mohawk.

The juicy personal details that you can use as a context for this performance go as follows: Asiel and Mike are boyfriends, Ian is presumably gay, Cassidy is gay, Graham has a wife and a son, and Victor is presumably gay, but I know for one thing, he’s fierce!

Then there’s a story that the performance tells. The dancers are dressed partially in white Ace bandages like wounded hospital patients who fled the hospital to dance burlesque. Gaga wears a see-through latex dress that allows you to see her bra and panties and pieces of tape “X” out her nipples. This outfit makes Gaga look like a psycho nurse who wants to help her patients medically and sexually. But thankfully for all you gay boys out there, Gaga doesn’t even touch her shirtless dancers. Her shirtless male dancers only touch each other.

During the second verse, Cassidy feels up Mike and spanks Ian. Eventually, Cassidy and Ian put their arms around each other’s waists like buddies and then lovers as they reach the catwalk part of the stage. Cassidy gropes Ian’s “big dick” codpiece and he feels up Ian’s ass and then spanks it. During the dance breakdown, Cassidy caresses Ian’s neck and then bends him over miming doggy-style sex and then spanks Ian again. It’s interesting that Cassidy and Ian are the only ones who do anything raunchy, while the two boyfriends Mike and Asiel hardly even look at each other, let alone touch each other. I guess they didn’t want to exploit their romance. Good for them. I know for one thing, Cassidy and Ian make for a good chocolate and vanilla Popsicle.

It seems appropriate to say that according to Gaga’s old friend Brendan Sullivan, “Boys, Boys, Boys” is about when Gaga went to go see the Killers perform at Madison Square Garden in 2007 with her boyfriend Luc Carl (a glam-metalhead). On the date, Luc got the worst seats in the bleachers, and he hated pop music, which means he wasn’t happy to be at a Killers concert. That said, when Gaga wrote “Boys,” she left out the part about a buzzkill boyfriend and instead re-imagined him as a fun, glitzy sexy gay guy that liked making out with her. In the end, “Boys, Boys, Boys” is how Gaga wanted her date to go. It’s a fantasy.

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