J.Lo's New Single is 1990s Nostaglia

Illustration by Glenn Hilario

Jennifer Lopez's new single "On the Floor" reminds me of a car ride I had to the  club Katmandu in Jersey with some female friends and Robin S.'s 90s house classic "Show Me Love" blasted out of the car speakers. Of course I got nice and tipsy that Thursday night and I'm sure that's what J.Lo wants people to do when they hear "On the Floor." There's nothing about J.Lo herself that makes me think of that Thursday night car ride, but it's RedOne's techno/house beat that does.

The "la la la" hook is catchy, but other than that there's no real chorus. The bridge is the best part of the song. One thing "On the Floor" would benefit from is a big, explosive Duran Duran-like chorus that opens up along the lines of Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance" (another RedOne track). The song's structure is too literal because it just follows the melodies already programmed onto the beat. Instead of using a 90s melody for the chorus, the song maybe could have benefited from an 80s melody, and would result in a different mood. J.Lo herself has such a lifeless voice that she could have easily been a computer-generated voice. For all it's meaty beat greatness, when I hear "On the Floor" I long for a big, booming alto vocal (a la Lady Gaga) instead of J.Lo's  thin voice. For the most part, J.Lo mimicks the Puerto Rican rapper Pitbull (who guests on the song) in terms of flow. Pibull even sings a little bit of the chorus, so maybe it's not even J.Lo singing and just Pitbull's voice pitched higher. Maybe? 

 Through all the 90s nostalgia "On the Floor" will inspire, I think the best thing I discovered about it is that I can do the chorus dance from "Bad Romance" to the sounds of "On the Floor." Just picture that.

Chris Colfer's Golden Globe Win is a Graceful Spectacle



Photo courtesy of PerezHilton.com



I've watched Chris Colfer's Golden Globes win for Best Supporting Actor in a TV series over and over again. I felt like I was transported into his body and I was experiencing everything he was. Let's put it this way, Chris Colfer was my avatar. And did I mention that my name is Chris.

 I could tell Chris was nervous and shocked, yet he walked up to the stage (a lonnnnggg walk might I add) with confidence brushing past tables occupied by Natalie Portman, Robert DeNiro and Matt Damon. There were certain details about Chris' win that made it the best win of the night. Much of it has to do with the celebrities that surrounded Chris. As he got up, his Glee cast mates were embracing and cheering him on (Lea Michele was bawling her eyes out). Ryan Murphy (creator of Glee) hugged him and kissed him on the cheek very affectionately (like the Fairy Godfather that is, in Chris Colfer's words). Eric Stonestreet (the chubby gay guy on the TV series Modern Family) padded Chris on the back, and get this, Chris almost collided with the actress Rita Wilson/wife of Tom Hanks (who was coming back from presumably a bathroom break) and the best part was that Chris did not yield, and Rita had to move. Sort of embarrasing on her part. It was like she didn't matter. Fierce! It seemed like Chris didn't even notice her because he had turned around to acknowledge Eric Stonestreet. I love the fact that Chris unconsciously took back the moment from Rita who was sort of interrupting his moment. She should have watched where she was going. But anyway, Chris' whole win was a graceful spectacle. He's this cute as a button gay kid with a high-pitched voice who carries himself with an empowering swagger giving words of empowerment to bullied kids in front of legends like Robert DeNiro. Ahhhh it was riveting.

See it for yourself below.